WEEK 13 RE-CAP
That had to be our most exciting week of action so far this season! Week 13 had it all - a few matches decided late in the Monday Nighter, three teams clinching playoff berths, and some devastating injuries that will have team managers scrambling to fill roster spots on the last week of the season. We have also confirmed that The Bundy will remain in Canada for at least one more year as two teams have their championship dreams crushed. Here’s how it all went down…
Wow! What a thrilling finish between the STAND ALONE AMERICAN and the DARTH RAIDERS. Miami RB De’Von Achane came back after sitting out last week and put up 25 points, getting Howie out to a slight 49-30 lead after the 1pm games. Then Rick cashed in 52 points from the Philly/Niners game thanks to DeVonta Smith, Christian McCaffrey, and Debbo Samuel - giving him the 119-56 lead at the end of Sunday afternoon. Things were not looking good for the D-Raiders, but then they had a big Sunday night getting back into it scoring 61 with Patrick Mahomes, Rashee Rice, and Christian Watson… cutting the score to 119-116. It was all going to come down to Monday night. Trailing by exactly 3.28 points, Howie’s kicker Evan McPherson would just need to pickup 4 points for the win. He had a chance to hit one in the 1st quarter but missed a 46 yard attempt, setting the D-Raiders back another point. After two second quarter extra points the lead was cut to just 2.28 meaning that a second half field goal would likely win it. With just a couple of minutes remaining in the game, the Bengals drove down the field and McPherson delivered the death blow - a 54 yard field goal to end Rick’s season. For a second week in a row, he loses a match in heartbreaking fashion… this time to end his hopes at The Bundy. Howie now has company in the Finkle Four Playdowns… and his D-Raiders look to be going in fairly hot, having won two matches in a row since being knocked out.
It was one of the ugliest matches of the season between PURDY GOOD and STRAIGHT OUTTA COUGHLIN, but it did come right down to the wire. It started with Texans WR Tank Dell fracturing his fibula early in the first quarter of his game before scoring a single point, forcing Matt to play the his whole weekend down one player. The rest of the lineup tried to step up - QB Tua Togovailoa threw for 2 touchdowns and both RB’s Mostert and Montgomery found the end zone, something no one in Shawn’s lineup could do in the early games. Matt led 74-33 going into the 4pm games, but then RB Chuba Hubbard scored 22 points and WR Elijah Moore had 12 more for Shawn, cutting the lead to 80-66. TE Travis Kelce added on 12 points Sunday night for Matt to extend the lead to 92-66 at the end of Sunday, but Shawn still had two players and a defence left to play. Bengals WR Tee Higgins and Jags WR Calvin Ridley slowly but steadily chipped away at the 26 point lead Monday night, but the Jags D took them backwards. Ridley was targeted in the end zone late in the 3rd quarter, but it was well defended… then in the 4th he was running hard towards the goal line and was popped out of bounds at the 1 yard line. Thanks to the Bengals’ defence, SO-CO somehow hangs on for the dramatic win! It definitely wasn’t purdy, but Matt will take it. He left three 20+ performances on his bench - in fact the 5 available players on his bench this week outscored the 9 in his starting lineup by 5 points. Despite this… and also playing a man down, he still gets enough to squeeze past his rival and into the playoffs. Shawn will play for his playoff life in another Rivalry Match next week against the Shwa.
HOOKED ON A THIELEN was looking to secure its place in the post season when they hosted the CRYSTAL LAKE SLASHERS. This one turned into a record setting shootout for the ages! It was Dallas kicker Brandon Aubrey of all people who got the Slashers off and running with a nice 15 point performance on Thursday night. On Sunday Don got a decent effort at QB with Sam Howell scoring 19 points, and Arizona TE Trey McBride was outstanding putting up 23… but Crystal Lake kept slashing - Texans WR Nico Collins had a monster game with a touchdown and 34 points, and Saints WR Chris Olave had 17 giving Glen a 102-73 lead after the 1pm games. They kept exchanging blows through the late afternoon games - QB Jalen Hurts had 24 for Glen, and Don got 20 out of RB Kyren Williams making the score 131-117 after Sunday with each team having one more player to go on Monday night. Bengals WR Ja’Marr Chase came up big scoring 32 points for Don, but RB Joe Mixon kept pace scoring 30 of his own to help Glen to the victory. The Slashers score the most points they ever have in the ICLAFF and keep their season alive with a win! They’ll now have one more shot to get in next week. For Don… it’s certainly crushing to score 142 points and lose, however thanks to the loss by Purdy Good, his Purple’s T’s sneak in the backdoor to the playoffs. With a final score of 160-149, this was the first ever ICLAFF match to break 300 total points… it shatters the old record for total points in a match by over 18 points.
One loss away from elimination, the LAS VEGAS SUN WORSHIPERS visited the OTTAWA ROSS RIDERS. The Cowbitches were in action on Thursday night which meant Rich was going to get off to a hot start - he started off his weekend by cashing in 61 points. An already rough start got worse for Ross on Sunday as RB Rhamondre Stevenson got injured and left his game in the first half, while RB Alvin Kamara added 28 points extending Rich’s lead to 101-35 after the 1pm games. Later in the afternoon the Riders offence came to life. WR Puka Nacua scored a touchdown and had 24 points, AJ Brown had 19… and then in prime time Ross added 32 more with QB Jordan Love and kicker Harrison Butker to give him a 9 point lead. On Monday night Jags TE Evan Engram put this one out of reach by adding 23 points for Ross, as his Riders ride on to a 134-109 win… their third straight victory. Ross’ lineup is heating up at the right time of year. The Worshipers’ once promising quest for the playoffs comes to a disappointing end. They will finish the year down in the bottom four where they will try to avoid taking The Finkle to Vegas in back to back seasons.
It was a tall order for MARC’S FUNKY BUNCH heading Brooklin this weekend to challenge first place 3RD AND LONG. Receiver DK Metcalf wasted no time getting the Beer Bottles out to a fast lead… he got 14 fantasy points on his very first play from scrimmage before ending his day with 37, more than any other player in fantasy football this week. Then on Sunday wouldn’t you know, Ryan did it again - this time receiver Tyreek Hill scoring 15 points on his very first play of the game on his way to 32. 3&L had tallied up more than 100 points by halftime of the early games, and held a healthy 120-55 lead before the 4pm action. 49ers WR Brandon Aiyuk and Panthers kicker Eddy Pineiro made it a little closer for Marc in the late afternoon, but going into Monday The Bunch still trailed by 49 with 3 players to go in the weekend finale. It was going to take a lot, but with Cincy’s D and two main pieces of the Jags offence - QB Trevor Lawrence and RB Travis Etienne Jr - it was possible. The gave a valiant effort collectively scoring 45 points, but in end they couldn’t catch Ryan as he ties the Slashers record of 11 wins from last season… can anyone slow this beast down? Jags QB Trevor Lawrence suffered what looked like a serious injury late in this game making this week’s loss even more painful for Marc.
There was a lot of news out of The Shwa this weekend. Not only was there a kangaroo loose on the streets having escaped from the local zoo, but J-OSHAWA ALLEN was also hosting ERIC’S E-ALLS who were in position to clinch a playoff spot with a win. Both teams scored 17 points on Thursday night - RB Tony Pollard for Eric, and WR Brandin Cooks for Mike. On Sunday, for the second week in a row RB Michael Pittman Jr had a big week for Mike scoring 28 points, and the Colts D also helped out with 17. He led 94-54 after 1pm games, but his team was done for the day so all he could do was watch his lead quickly disappeared later that afternoon - Bucs WR Mike Evans had 29, 49ers tight end George Kittle scored 13, then in the evening Chiefs RB Isaiah Pacheco added 21 pushing Eric out in front 129-94. On Monday Brandon McManus would’ve needed to have a record breaking night for the Shwa to have a chance… no kicker has scored 35 points since fantasy football was invented, which is what was needed to pull off the miracle comeback. Instead, Mike falls 129-101 and his playoff plans take a kangaroo punch to the face. Now he’ll have to sweat it out in the final week of the season to determine his post season fate. Eric on the other hand, has successfully led his Double E’s to the Bundy Bowl Playoffs! By the way… the runaway kangaroo was okay. It was safely rescued on Monday morning and returned to the zoo. Having spent 3 days on the loose in downtown Shwa it was tried, hungry, and had developed an unfortunate dependency to crack cocaine.
