WEEK 9 PREVIEW
There’s 4 teams out on a bye this week creating lineup challenges for some ICLAFF owners. The Broncos, Lions, Jags, and 49ers are all off. Here is what to look for in our Week 9 matchups…
7-1 3RD AND LONG travels south of the border to take on the 3-5 STAND ALONE AMERICAN. Looking at just their records alone you would probably think this is a lock for the Beer Bottles, but this one has some definite upset potential. Despite losing last week, Rick’s offence exploded for 141 points… and this week he’s catching the ICLAFF’s top team on a good week. Ryan will be without 6 regular players who are out on a bye including Jared Goff, Jerry Jeudy, Christian Kirk, and Jahmyr Gibbs who was huge for him last week. He’ll need others on his roster to step up in their absence if he wants to return to Canada with his winning streak extended to 5 games. With the Niners off, Rick will also be missing his top gun Christian McCaffrey so it will be interesting to see how these two owners play their cards this week.
It’s a pivotal match between two 4-4 teams when MARC’S FUNKY BUNCH hosts J-OSHAWA ALLEN. Since losing four straight, Mike has somehow turned things around - he’s climbed up 3 spots in the standings with back to back wins and is now in 6th place. It’s the opposite story for The Bunch who have lost their last two. This will be an extra challenging week for Marc too without his four best weapons - Trevor Lawrence, Travis Etienne Jr, Brandon Aiyuk, and Amon-ra St Brown - all are out on a bye in Week 9. I’d say Mike really lucked out with that timing… we’ll see if he’s able to take advantage of the situation and bring a third straight win back to The Shwa.
Two struggling teams connect when the DARTH RAIDERS face ERIC’S E-ALLS. Together these two teams are just just 1-7 over the last 4 weeks. The Eazy E’s got out to a great start this season, but they are now looking to snap a frustrating 3 game losing streak. The D-Raiders have never really found their groove at all so far in 2023 - their only win ironically came against first place 3&L (their only loss), but since then they have dropped 4 in a row. Eric will need to find someone to play QB for his team, Russell Wilson is the only one on his roster but he’s off this week… and it looks like Cole Kmet will get the start at TE with George Kittle also on a bye. The Darth Raiders are desperate for a win, and will take scoring from anywhere they can get it. Even Patty Mahomes was bad last week, and Howie will definitely need him to have a bounce back game in Fankfurt if he’s to have any chance of pulling off this upset. The D-Raiders have failed to score at least 100 points in 3 straight matches and if they can’t find the spark to ignite their offence soon, this Evil Empire could be hosting a Toilet Bowl on the Death Star this December.
The LAS VEGAS SUN WORSHIPERS look to keep rolling at home against the league’s highest scoring team HOOKED ON A THIELEN. Worshiper fans are still buzzing about last week’s big victory over the D-Raiders, and with one more they can already match last season’s win total. Hooked-T is also coming off a win but it came at a cost as Vikings QB Kirk Cousins went down to injury for the rest of the season. To fix this, Don hit the waiver wire on Wednesday and wisely signed Sam Howell a few days after he put up 31 fantasy points on the Eagles. To be successful this week, The Worshipers will need to get out to a healthy lead… this match might come down to the Bills/Bengals Sunday night game where the Purple T’s could cash in a ton of points with two star receivers Stefon Diggs and Ja’Marr Chase going head to head. And if it’s not decided by then, Don still has WR Garrett Wilson coming out of the bullpen Monday night.
An interesting match is taking place on the lake this week when STRAIGHT OUTTA COUGHLIN hits the road to battle the CRYSTAL LAKE SLASHERS. Glen’s Slashers have lost two in a row but have scored fairly well… his opponents both had huge weeks scoring 142, and 152 points to beat him. It doesn’t appear to get any easier for him this week, Matt’s SO-CO can also put up big points - they are one of only two teams in the league to score more than 1000 so far, and are coming off 3 straight wins. Glen is hoping Cooper Kupp can make some noise after a couple of quiet weeks, and he’ll also need his Eagles stars Hurts and Swift to come up big against the Cowbitches. Look for a lot of Matt’s scoring this week to come in the Germany game where he’ll have 4 big stars in action. That game will be on even extra early for me - I’ll be down in Las Vegas this weekend, heading to the Giants/Raiders game on Sunday. I’ve already made plans to connect with the owner of the Sun Worshipers when I’m down there… and Rich if you plan on joining me for some tailgating on Sunday, please wear your pink “Last Place” football jersey you earned last year and bring The Finkle. A photo opportunity like that is too good to pass up!
And finally, two teams headed in opposite directions connect in The Bay this week where things could get out of hand quickly. The OTTAWA ROSS RIDERS are the league’s hottest team, currently riding a 6 game winning streak… and PURDY GOOD is one of the coldest, failing to win any of their last 4 matches in which they’ve averaged less than 85 points a game. Over that same span his opponent Ross has averaged over 128 points, so this matchup looks extremely one sided. My cousin might be able to fill out half his lineup and still cruise to a victory. I’m just gonna go ahead and make this my pick for the Shitshow of the Week… prove me wrong Shawn!